The Day I Felt God

I would have died today and it did not matter anymore I am still breathing though having difficulty to catch a breath. Stress is fast catching up on me partly because my life is taking a paradigm in a few weeks. After so many years, I will be taking a big risk of going back to Philippine work force that oftentimes have push to side former Filipino overseas workers. It still puzzles me and the society why former overseas workers are not given the same respect as the people who are working locally in the Philippines for a long time. The stigma has reached the government that they even have a program called re-integration for overseas workers.

It is difficult to think what will happen to me in a few weeks time when people are depending on me and so much is expected from me. By just thinking of their expectation, I already fear that I might fail them. That is the last thing I want to happen that I fail the people I care for.

What keeps me in proper form of mind is the thought of my child and my wife. They made my life meaningful and with purpose. I felt for the first time, two people loving me without any condition. Even my daughter despite her age, already expresses her undeniably true love to me. Something I can feel with sincerity. For this reason, I am hugging God’s promise that God will never forsake nor leave me especially in my need at the moment.

As an ordained priest of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I also have duties not only to my family or to my church but also to people around me; to do what is morally right. Also to share kindness as well to anyone who needs and generously give what I can in my own ability. Not only in material wealth but also in extending my presence, love and care to a person who may need it with generosity and without doubt. God has given me confidence that in fullness of his grace that I received the Holy Spirit that directs me to what is righteous and guides me to act as God desire me to do.

Before I was just a witness to God’s glory and now I must be an example on how to live God’s teachings. Now I am an example of how to live God’s teaching despite the many temptations around. The purpose is not to show but rather in my subtle and modest way that people see that God is good and has sufficient grace for everyone to enjoy.

One way to manifest God’s presence in my heart is to forgive for it is the same purpose that Jesus suffered in the cross. If I truly follow Jesus in his teachings, I too must forgive and ask for forgiveness to those who offended me and whom I offended.

I know God liberally gives wisdom to all men, but we must ask sincerely and I ask God right now to give me that wisdom and strength to continue for my family and to proclaim his Glory.

I am writing this simple note as a reminder to myself that God is with me and to testify in Jesus name that God is always here with us. This is the evidence of my faith and will continue to be faithful to you my Lord.

Street Food:

In Malaysia, street food is as good as those expensive restaurants. Sometimes street food is even better than some of the restaurants. It is cheap and quick, you can just eat the way you wanted to eat
.

This scene is well sought by tourist because of the price and it culturally connects them with the people. I remember coming to Malaysia for the first time, during our lunch break, I will join the locals and have lunch with them in a street restaurants something you will hardly do if you are in Manila. Of course, in Makati, there are jeepney stores but it is now regulated with sanitation permit and with uniform. Here it was hmmm the usual street vendor with monoblock chairs and the way they clean their table is totally insane. They have a cloth to wipe the table then drop all the table rubbish on the floor. If its in Manila, the waiter will catch the dirt on his/her other hand.

The food is great and the price is also good. It is only in Malaysia where you can eat a full meal for a minimum of four ringgit that is about less than 50 pesos.

Protest : Rally: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

The protest reminds of the days when I was still a student activist. The only difference is that there are more people in a student rally than what I witnessed here. It was few and not enough to command political majority.

Also in a few shots of tear gas, the protesters dispersed all over the place, making the rally short.

If it was in Manila, most likely the tear gas will be hurdled back to the police and protesters will stay until more people have come to join.

To have a successful rally, the people should not only have the conviction but also the ideology to push thru a revolutionary change. Which I do not think this people has what it takes to be an activist.

Leave Your Girl

One evening while I was looking thru my inbox. I saw an email from my best friend then. She left a desperate message of asking for help. She is so lonely and would like to die. Out of panic, I tried to call her but there was no response from her.I tried to buzz her thru yahoo messenger , no reply from her again. It was one of those feeling that left me scared and helpless. I knew she went thru times of separation and having a miscarriage. I was hoping to talk to her and give her hope.



Then after a few days she finally replied to my email and told me to call her. So, I called her and told her worrying on what happened to her almost killed me.She said it was one of those moments she wanted to die remembering that her previous husband left her for a prostitute.I told her not to worry anymore since everything will be ok. Now, that the husband is away and she is now officially a widow. She can start a new life again. She started telling me about her being fat and no one will her. There are fellow doctors who like her and courting her but she does not like her. I asked her what does she like. She said "nookie, I love you"..then she told me to leave my girlfriend in Canada and we become a couple. She knew that my girlfriend in Canada is going out with someone and it was easy for me to break up with her.



Look, who would not want a best friend for a girlfriend or a wife.We had the perfect relationship in hand, we have known each for 15 years.So,I told her that I also love her.She knew it and told her not to think of anything else. We are a couple now. She said " Really Nookie, you will never leave or

Something to say

I was not able to publish anything on this blog for a long time. I lost my focus in writing,instead I dwell on other hobby that made me move around a lot. Although, I wrote a number of articles as a continuation of my earlier blogs. But somehow, it was a time when I knew that publishing it will not give us a time to heal and reconcile the problem. Something was telling me that a reconciliation may happen. Again, I was wrong.



She avoided my family and I ,every time we would call her and the clinic where she works. She is becoming to have that image of a professional criminal.A medical doctor who has cheated a best friend and lost the trust of many people. As I have told her earlier she and her family were deceitful and live on lies. Why not, all their lives they live on lies. As the father has other families, the mother pretended to be married to her father and carried the last name. The father has four families and the father is into cock fighting business and also a government construction contractor that was full of graft activities and corrupting government officials to win a contract. That is something that provided them their daily needs they got their money from unscrupulous way. I will not be surprise at this moment how the family has become to be a  dirty and greedy for money family.





Recently, we reached out to her father.The father said he does not want to do anything with them as the family is doing a lot of things that were not nice. Ah! What a liar. He is an expert in the art of lying it is not a surprise.My ex is a papa's girl and he was supporting my ex in all her shortcomings. One of the things that the father did and everyone in the family knows, was the failure of my ex in passing the medical board exam. She failed the first time but in her own words she told me that "papa already dealt with them and made the arrangement". After that, the next thing I knew she passed the medical board exam. Guess, that is the reason why her sisters never consulted her , when they are ill. The sister will take the  kids or any family member to another doctor. My ex will feel bad about it. If you knew that my ex's passing the board exam was just  arranged by the father who has so many government connections.I would hesitate as well to have my kids go to professional consultation.



Anyway,I will now continue to finish this blog. I will edit and publish the earlier articles that I wrote. Eventually, make a paperback copy of the blog and sell it. That way I get the money to pay for her loan and for the expenses that I incurred during my struggle in fighting this illness.



I am not yet in my best element to write. As I view this article, I need more time to get back to my prime  in creative writing.I will get back to that form soon and be prolific as before. I will finish this blog and eventually by that time I already  completely won against depression. Which is still getting in my system from time to time.

Jalan Tun H.S. Lee- Kuala Lumpur China Town

Next Street is the Jalan Petaling

Wala Lang!

Hmmm Buah Cantik!

For new prosperity and peace for the souls of dead relatives

Guardians

Cyberjaya at Midnight

At the end of the rainbow, you will not find gold but a bus!

The bus that is always late and never on time.

Can be our house cat or dog cum floor polisher.Looks like a

small monster dog too.

Taken while inside a speeding train

Malaysia Hall of Justice

Solid Bato!In short Panghilod

Dr Jane M.

I met her at work. She was not the kind of girl that people will notice. So many people actually never get to be close to her. I became close to her only because of her pretty fellow neophyte in the company.

She has the kind of character that people do not get pretty comfortable with her company. It was like she always wants to have a conversation that is focus on her daily activities and irrelevant topic. Eventually, I was always talking with our common friend.Every now and then Dr Jane M. will join us for lunch or when we go out for a break.