What Makes Travel Memorable?

Travel is one of the best time to have bonding with friends or family. Somehow for some cases it could be a big hit or a big bust. I remember doing mountain climbing with our local mountain climbing group. 

The mountain we went to was one of the most frequently visited mountain we went to. Like this is our R and R destination. Yet there are times when it was really a dull moment. But one of our trips in this mountain became a most memorable one. 

The mountain is not really one of those virgin forest neither it has something unique to offer. It was half denuded mountain. It was terribly hot in the morning because it was right next to an open ocean. At night it was a cold and  windy mountain.

Then in one of our trips when  old timers and new members of the mountaineering  club conglomerate to this mountain. It was really fun. We acted like real free birds flying over the horizon with gusto. We cooked the best food that we ever had on a mountain. We never got drunk but we had the best laugh. 

On our way down, we had the most wonderful feeling we ever had on the mountain. One of my fellow moutain climber even made a comment. That this mountain is really nice. I looked back. It is half denuded due to illegal logging. It was hot and nothing spectacular to offer. But it was the spirit of camaderie that made this mountain special. As I looked back I saw my friends coming down, both old and new friends, and the night we all had. I saw the mountain in a different light.The mountain has more colors. The hot weather became warm as a human body surrounding me with a lot of friendship. The mountain became the mountain of friendship and not just another mountain to climb but a mountain full of memories. 

Since that time, everytime I travel. I see to it I travel with the person or people I really like and love. I can travel with a complete stranger but the chemistry has to be there. We have to hit the spark in each one of us. This makes those bad times or those unplanned circumstances an experience worth laughing about in the future. Every minute is worth remembering.It is not always the destination that makes a trip special,its always the people who travel with you. It has to be someone whom you really like.The destination and the places are just instrumental that adds climax to a trip. Remember that in the movie, music enhances the scene and the backdrop makes the scene more intense yet it is the emotions of the characters that makes you feel the whole story.  In travelling it is the same, its the human soul that makes a trip really special.

So go travel only with people you only like, people who share the same interest with you or someone who has that good chemistry with you. Otherwise, its like you already have a trip close to a doomed holiday.Best is to travel with someone you truly love.That is the most romantic and the best travel plan ever to have.

You people know what I mean.

Para sa iyo

Minsan tayo ay nangarap na lang ng kung ano ano.Minsan tumatanaw ng malayo dahil sa pangarap. Minsan nating pinangarap ay inakalang nakamtan na. Minsan maraming pinagdaanan nating pagsubok. Minsan ang puso natin ay nalugmok na sa lungkot at hapdi. Minsan nating naramdaman pero nauulit pa rin. Minsan iniisip natin na may pagkakataon pa ba.Minsan ating nakalimutan na ang hapdi pero bumabalik pa rin paulit ulit nanaman. Minsan ang pangarap noon minsan inakalang nakamit eto naman minsanang pinapangarap pa rin.Minsan nagiisip kung kailan na talaga ang minsan ay maging parati na lang.

Sa katitingin sa malayo at sa paghananap.Di natin natatanaw ang malapit. Ano pa ang makikita sa malapit eh madalas parati na lang nakikita. Pero yon nga parati na lang nakikita.Parati ang pangarap ko di minsanan lang.Kaya ang pagtanaw ko sa malayo ay naging silip sa malapit. Sa isang malapit na sa aking puso noon pa man.Isang minsan ko na ring pinangarap pero natakot. Eto sya parati na lang sa puso ko,pero minsan ko lang isipin na maging parati sa puso ko dahil nahihiya. Nagdadalawang isip dahil sya ang taong ayokong maging minsan lang sa buhay ko pero gusto ko sya na maging parati na lang sa buhay.Kaya hinayaan kong magbigay limot na pangarapin sya at hagkan na sobra.

Pero ang parati ay palaging nandyan,parati nasa puso. Bakit ko pa gagawing minsan. Eto sya doctora ng puso ko. Eto sya di na minsan sa buhay ko. Eto sya parati na sa puso ko bilang pag ibig.Eto sya habang buhay na sa aking puso.Eto ka at eto ako.. parati na lang magmamahalan.

She is the Girl.

Everyday, there are more people that seem similar in many ways. Features and color does nothing to make a noticeable difference. It was a wholesale of beings with similar face and one blind color. Nothing distinguishes anyone from each other.

Until some star chart drove one occasion that made me meet a very special girl. She was another pretty face but when she began to espouse her mind. She has a heart in her brain and a brain with a heart. She has the wit and the intelligence that combines a powerful personality of new age renaissance person. Intelligence she obviously picked up from the streets and has the faculty of scholarly developed consciousness.

It was a uniqueness, which captured everything that I held back for many years. I was trying to resolve the rush in my brain. Calculating what she has. Every word she uttered held my attention deeper. That sweet smile does not keep me fixed on her. Her mind is like a magnet. She is like a new creature in this ocean of perfectly cloned realm of creatures.

It was a long time since; I found a new star that shines. When I saw her brightness in distance. There was a blush inside that reminds me the sum of my despondency. The potential of getting another heart ache is evident. I was moving in a direction that will put me once again in a quagmire. I am drowning in my own emotion that will make things complicated. Nurturing a feeling will make it more complicated.

I might lose that eye for a bright star. I will lose that friendship. I will look funny. I began to miss her. She is really different and wonderful enough to be in my mind all the time. The distance is imperative. I am falling for her.

One day, I was in a bus traversing the distance from my office to a well appointed home. I had this epiphany that is growing in my mind. I was to propose to her. Knock on her window. Tell her every tiny emotion that I had inside. Even appear stupid by singing with action. I knew she will like those things (jologs). Then approach her and kneel down. To tell her that it is a one shot deal. It will be a hit and miss thing. If I hit it – it becomes big. I miss my lucky star- I lose it. I will turn my back and never to look back again. If you asked me to stopped and look back at you. It means you are giving me a chance. You will become my girlfriend.

After a while, I heard the bus stopped. I had to wake up in my sleepless dream. It works only in the movies. There are no cameras or lights. It was worse that there is no background music to make that scene romantic or emotional.

Dreams are cheap. I continued to dream again with my eyes wide open. This time she is in a white dress. I just put a smile on my face that even in my dreams I can make happy things happen. Anyway, I think of her and it makes me happy.

She is like happiness in flesh and blood. Dream is only an imagined reality. There in my dream I am happy because that is the only time I get to be with her.

Placebo Effect

A lady from my home country is here for a contract project. She is part of a project as a programmer and she goes home almost every two weeks. The set-up is quite unique and difficult.It is tedious. Then she told us that she has a sick child. As a single parent, the kid will need all the attention she can give during the medical treatment. The topic was centered on her child, whom she can not leave for a long time. Given the offer she has been getting from different companies here. She always go back home every two weeks. She has to let go of the other opportunities that come her way.

Her only child is sick with leukemia. As explained by the doctors to her. It is hereditary to have cancer. Almost every other week they would rush the child to the hospital. But at this time, she is grateful for her child has remained stable.

Just a few months ago, I remember my brother who died of cancer. At the age of 15, he was taken from us. Though it has been years, I still remember how he suffered from the pain of the illness. The pain was so much that morphine was used at the last stage. Sometimes the pain was terrible that the even with Nubain or morphine would not suffice. Sometimes early in the morning my brother would ask for the pain killer but the pain killer can only be administered when it is really necessary. My mother will pretend that she administered the pain reliever just to make my brother feel comfortable. Pretend- as in act out that she was injecting something in to the I.V. tube. It made him sleep well. That was placebo effect and very effective at that moment.

Placebo effect is important in cases like cancer. There are many instances that placebo makes the difference, sometimes even the cure of cancer is a result of placebo. A miracle is close to a placebo effect.

Placebo is a Latin word which means” to walk with the Lord" which was mistakenly translated in to English as “to please". In modern medical practice it has come to refer to medicines without any curative value or medicines "more to please than benefit the patients".

Contemporary medicine practitioner uses the placebo. Just like when a person has a flu or viral colds, an antibiotic is administered when it has really little or no effect at all as a cure.

Placebo is moving towards the new medical science with respect. For example, it has been known now as a self healing process of the body. New doctors are making use of this phenomenon to help in curing the patient. An emphatic interaction helps in advancing the cure of the patients. This is evident in most cancer patients. Remember, the television advertisement on the touch of a mother makes the baby feel comfortable. That again is placebo in action.

There is a thin line to differentiate a miracle or a placebo effect. Both thrive on faith. A little faith and a little hope will make you heal yourself. Also gives you -an outlook brighter than the morning sunshine. That alone makes the patient and the people around the patient smile. To think about tomorrow and to think that everything will be fine. That is so important to someone who is sick and the people who love the patient. Placebo is not just a term that medical professionals need to deal with but part of a human spirit of never giving up.It is the natural instinct that all creatures on earth has to hold.In order to preserve life and to boldly survive and triumph in the troubled world of human existence....

(WAIT FOR THE PART 2 ON PLACEBO)

The 2007 Election

The Election
The New Year is crucial to Philippine politics it will pave way for a new political landscape or just insurance for the Gloria Macapagal Arroyo leadership to stay in the seat of power.

This election will make a difference if most of her allies will be elected in the parliament and the senate. Then she is assured of another round of leadership without the problem of another impeachment. However, if her party or allies can not make the majority in the legislative body. It may mean her leadership is in a very fragile state again.

Gloria has been known to be at the helm of making the election an affair similar to David Copperfield making the Statue of Liberty disappear. You will see magic in broad daylight yet you just can not explain how it happened.

New alliances will happen and new enemies will be created. This will be a time for an expensive election. Every inch of every municipality will not be left to chance. Every municipality will be guarded by the administration for any weakness in their politically strategy. The daily changes in the political positioning will be dealt with an immediate remedy.

Remedy as in bringing the magician's gallon hat. To make the rabbit appear out of nowhere or as an alternative to the rabbit is the pigeon. For sure, flying voters will be flown in just like the pigeon.

The magician’s wand is not limited to administration pets. Some opposition in the Philippine politics is so weak that despite their commitment to serve will be unnoticed to the masses. It lacks the appeal and funding. If ever the candidate may resort to vote buying. Some notorious politician regardless of political affiliations only has one goal and that is to win. Certain cheating will have to be done to assure that goal is completed.

This is crucial to the administration. This election will not be left to chance. The opposition will find a tough fight. In terms of funding, what was usually a tradition of business men supporting both the administration and the opposition will provide a limited funding to opposition. Since, this administration have been seen to be useful in bending the laws to support those who helped them in times of crisis and further bend the law to incarcerate the enemies. It is wise to support the administration. The administration may not ask for funding from the private sector but a message was sent in the tradition of Bush war strategy; Shock and all - either you are with us or you are an enemy.

Since businessmen have been getting this message since last year and during the impeachment proceeding. That if this administration is shaken,it retaliates with a more shock and shake the investor's business life attitude.

An election as crucial as this year. Goons or guns are not necessary in this modern time. Somewhere and somehow it will manage to make the necessary action to rectify loose ends to determine victory for the administration. Along the trail, it will manage to cheat.

To picture out this election as an Erap and Gloria election is wrong. This is no longer just a matter of Erap being put back to power but more of sending Gloria out of the Malacanang Palace. Erap is just an incidental character here. It is circumstantial that he is the only leader in the opposition who is identified with masses. At this time, they need the support of the masses. Some of the opposition lacks the charm to win the general electorate.

This election is really to bring down the Arroyo leadership. This is the key message of this election. This election is an imprimatur of people whether they still want Arroyo. This will break or make this cute administration of Gloria Arroyo. The more votes for the opposition, the more it becomes apparent that the public wants the present leadership to leave Malacanang.

Other than that is a twist to build the story to complete the climax. The May election will determine so much about the administration of Arroyo.

Bintang (malay word for star)

Darkness does not come early in Malaysia. Yet when it comes, the stars are shining brightly. Each seems very near and could be annex by a thin line;the same way a map is interconnected. So near yet so far.Though their distance are millions and millions of miles from each other.Look straight it feels like they are like siblings reaching for each other or lovers hugging each one for warmth and love.

My ancestors have travelled far and wide to reach a place they can call home. From my father side, they are spanish painters. Settled in Pandacan, Manila to sell paintings to the fellow espanol. On my mother side, they came from all over. I grew up in a place, where I heard different languages. I heard spanish, english,hookien,mandarin,tagalog, ilonggo and Ilocano.The distinction between them is not obvious as I grow-it is hard to tell which one is mandarin and hookien from tagalog to spanish.It seems all fell in to my ears just like a binary language to a computer.I understand them.

That is home to me. In every words that were uttered was like a perfect fire that makes me feel the warmth in my heart. It was like the line that interconnects the stars in a constellation map. My family are the stars under one roof. Those rough oftentimes sweet mix of tongues connects the stars in my home. That connection makes the fire for us to feel that someone cares. To provide the heat to every cold human body.

Now the distance is further and further. I am now lonely and sad. I can not feel the warmth of home and the intensity of communications. The silk like embrace of a baby cousin or a nephew is what I miss most.I feel like in the middle of a naked singularity-a black hole where stars, light or air are not allowed to survive. That empty space in the galaxy is inside me now.

A firefly would come to the nearest source of light,just like a firefly.As I am right now doing the same thing wanting to crawl out of a quagmire of cold darkness and to the nearest light. Wanting to survive each minute to tell the world there is more of me. There is more I can be but something is stopping me. I am stopping myself because I can not be a source of fire nor a star to myself.My other stars are far from me. My light is not sufficient to make my present house warm nor the languages is sufficient to produce the decibels to make a wave of soundwaves to penetrate my eardrums and my soul.

Never felt this way, It was something new to me. I will survive this chaos inside. I was tough like a gold even before I stepped in to a consciousness of self doubt.Like an old carbon turning in to a diamond, better yet an old silver coming to a shine again. Yup I had my shine but loss it . I can make it again. The shine will be there again.

I made a big difference before. I made an impact before. There is no reason not to make that dent. In the environment where I am revolving, in my own galaxy;I will claim and rule with distinction and honor.

I will create my own galaxy. Then each stars will be close to me. To make my home brighter than what I have now.There is always a new way to create a star.It is always around the corner.I can feel it to be near....a new star is always born and that new star will be near me to help me make the light and warmth needed to continue blazing in to a living life.Let that inspiration come to me once more to be the star to guide me in my journey. To light up the road for me.I will become that new born star for myself and will find another one as I need someone to keep me warm too and for me to keep someone warm also.I will be shining brightly to a make my new audience a witness to a new feat of my capabilities.

The precious moments

It was a moment when all that I cherish were falling in pieces. Nothing seems to lift my spirit. Not even the smile that I make is a laugh out of heart and lungs but of an empty brain,wishing someone and something could be sensitive and real. Real in a sense that what I have at the moment is superficial, I need sincerity from a special person and to be at ease with someone.

Nothing best describe my feeling everytime I see her other than-inspiration. She seems to know what I am feeling. Deep inside I also know what she is feeling but she continue to shroud it as change is difficult to some people.I know what she is thinking in her mind.First, I would like to discuss what she is to me. For some reason,we sometimes do not have to speak our gestures is enough to express.We are at ease with one another.

I would like to nurture what connects us together. Let it grow ,to bring out the best in us. Not only temporary but also in the most days of our inspiring lives. Deep inside in our quiet form, we carry the potential to be sweeter than the sweetest sugar on this planet when expressing our feelings. On how to make the sweetest part of us get together seems to be a burden left on my part. Trying to devise a scheme that will make our lives closer as than before.If you look at a map,you will see lines,connecting each streets to give direction.I will make that lines that will connect me to her. Shortest distance between two points is a line.I shall create one.I have the fire to reach her heart. I am not going to make that fire get extinguish by intimidation from the previous people who also made it difficult for me to cope because they are more of mongers than human beings.

She is sensitive and the sweetest person I met in my lifetime.Her personality seems to draw people nearer to her beauty and I can feel her uncommon kindness. A future with her will not be difficult.

Tick, tack, tick, tack, is my time running out. Trying to remember the music that I used that made me win hearts of women. That scheme is old ,it is for a common woman. This woman is extra-special and she gathered what I really wanted in a girl. I have to approach her in the most conscious way, finding the key to that scheme is an emotionally technical endeavor. A calculated approach,otherwise losing her will be the most frustating part of my life.

This is not just another woman as an object for a rebound but this is the real thing. Every moment is a calculated risk, wearing a perfect loving heart to show her in my most imperfect me. Love is my strongest weapon that directed me to manifest the uniqueness of my friendship and expression.

All that went into my life is a learning moment and right now is the moment that I will prove what I learned in my lifetime ,the value that I will put in everything that I offer with my emotion.

Complicated in a way, difficult in every second but easy if we are in the same direction. All honesty and all sincerity is present. Nothing is small or big everything is important.

Plant needs water,if you leave it. Someone else will water it for you. The plant you never water will not remember you,but it remembers better the one who gave the water everyday. You may have made a familiarity with the plant but it is not that familiarity that nurtured it , it is the everyday of care that makes it grow and the moment when it is cold and lonely that whoever makes it warm it remembers. It remembers the one who put water more than the one who is far yet loving.

This is the time that makes sinking our heart in a quagmire for many valid reasons. We rationalize. We protect. You see-we protect the situation not the people involve in the situation. It is common denial stage of human beings. Out of pride or out of need,fear of change, fear of learning and out of fear in adjusting again. We are an open target of the dictates of societal ego tripping and psychological bonding.We sometimes stick it out,because of what people will say. Psychological bonding, trapped in our world for fear of losing or hurting some.For fear of making a change and adjusting again.What is love,where you can not find it to be near,where is love when you can not feel it. If it can not make you feel that emotion near or a heartbeat away from you or fill in the gap or give warmth on a coldest night and a bridge you can rely on at times of trouble. What purpose does it serve? The reality is that we can not touch what is far from us, what we really want is someone to be there, a touch that will keep us warm and secure. A touch that will pamper us, a touch that will make two beings becoming one...not in distance but up close and personal. I would say,.....I do not want to discuss further. I told her about it already.

I saw my day brigthen and renewed because of that special woman. She likes pink and red,pink is a color of gentleness and red is color of love. A combination perfect to her personality-she is pretty in pink. Always pretty...

She is my inspiration and I adore her more than I have adored someone. Somehow fate works in the most mysterious way. I remember someone doing some reading on me telling at this moment, I will have someone special. I said who is she, the person replied she is brunette.Hell, I do not know anyone with a brunette hair.The american psychic reader said she wants red.Hmmm...the fortune teller was referring to red color and pink. The second reading with another person said the same thing, without saying anything to them.hayy..this my life at the moment in Malaysia....I am far from home. The good thing about life here is her-I found my inspiration. Thank you whoever made me meet her..I can make my life better. I am inspired to do it because of her. I hope I can be there for her all the time.

Maturing One

It think it is inherent to some people to say something negative to almost everyone. One of the traits these people manifest is the ego-centric and self righteous personality. Hidden beneath their being a control or manipulative characters.They always want to think that they know better than others. It was easy for them to judge situations , there is no cure to this kind of personalities. No need to even be serious with their friendships.You just exist with them while they are there,no need to remember them in the future.

I know one of my acquiantances here in my adopted country has that character. The all knowing but judgmental personalities. Her boyish type of personality tried to create a being that is superior but in the end really she has not matured. She find it funny but to some people she is really irritating. That even her closest friend for a long time even told me that this girl always has something to say against someone. At first I do not believe her or say I was reluctant to believe only to find out that she was right. There is no one or any other person good for her point of view. She keeps on judging people without let up. That is why she is sick most of the time. Guess, that is the result of her actions and comments against people. Up to this time, I am not comfortable being with her. Deep inside she is not really a true friend.

I would even find one of her so much dislike former friends to be likeable for being straight forward. She is never a straight forward person. She hides in some cloak that they are friends but actually she has kept some dark side inside. She says a lot to people.

There is still a kid in her. I do not think liking her for long term will be ok. Her concern for you is more of judgmental not sincere concern.I guess it is useless to make her a long term friend.

If she can treat her long term friends that way.How much more to new people she met.She still manage to impose her mentality to weaker friends that she has. For me, I see her as a person who existed while I am in my adopted country. Not as a friend.

She needs to grow up.She needs to mature.

Being of Deception part 2

As we trek, ancient gigantic trees welcomed us. Fog and cold air collided with our skin to give us a chill. A weather like this was perfect for us. Usually, a cloudy day can save a lot of our energy. If this was a sunny day, the heat will eat all our energy. Not this time, thick cumulus clouds were up and hiding the sunlight which was a perfect weather for the climb. The ambiance makes it more memorable because you can go through the fog. Pretending that this was heaven. Despite the fog the visibility was still ok. The smell was so fresh and natural that it felt so good.

The ambiance also gave that horror book feeling. That behind the trees and the cold weather, hidden under the fog is a monster or an enchanted being. They said this mountain is enchanted,but that thought did not scare us. We have trekked this mountain many times. The feeling of being in a natural beauty free from the blemishes of the city life that made us come back here. We came for this feeling and for this environment. Nothing felt so good, for a birthday party, this was definitely cool.

A familiar tree greeted us on our way to the mountain. Huge tree with a trunk bigger than a car, right next to it was an albino tree trunk. A variety up to this time we never bothered to ask what it is called.

We climb with a smile on our face. As if this activity was giving us a high better than sex or getting drunk. In every stop that we made , a punchline was thrown to hit someone's exhausted body for a smile to drive the exhaustion away.

After an hour,we reached the peak. It was raining so hard. There was some thunder and lightning. Funny thing was that the lightning was below us. Ever heard of the effects in a movie about the sound of electricity , that was what we heard. The lightning-well it was below our small campsite. The campsite is as small as a one car parking. On the side of the mountain is an 80 degree drop down to the next town or next province. You choose which province will be able to take care of you when you fall.Of course, by the time you know that, you could be talking to St Peter already. We saw streaking lights moving down the mountain slope, and the sound of the thunder was not the usual rumbling sound.It does not even resemble any bowling pins thumbling down on a good strike throw. It sounded like real live electricity.Imagine we are wet and on top of the clouds.We were wondering if this will electrocute us.With cold and hot air mass convulsing to create lightning just a few meters from the end of the mountain slope and our trail.

Nevertheless, like a true mountain climber all dangers are carefully examined and considered. In the end, just like what we had done before,ignored the different difficulties ahead. Hunger was an immediate and more dangerous situation at that moment. So,we pulled out our fly sheets and made a makeshift shelter. Underneath, we gathered our provisions for lunch. We ate sandwhich,chicken and rice while soaking under a heavy rain,so were the food that we ate.I lighted an incense and a short prayer was led by one of the members of the team. After that we descended to the nearest campsite to spend the night to consume the gin and rhum.

On our waydown, we had a buddy system. Each climber will have a companion, as part of our safety procedure. Except for a middle man,or some call him sniper who spot the members of the team location and guides them. Since, I was the most senior of the climbers though I am second to the youngest,I became the middle man. Rushing from one side to another side to check on them.

I was confident, no one will get lost there was only one trail to follow.Well,till we get to the next apple stop.That part the trail branches out to different destination. Either it could send you trekking for a week or getting to the dangerous part of the mountain.That stop is the place where we can take five and wait for one another.

On a very tight trail,where you make a wrong move will bring you tumbling down the cliff. I heard someone shouting my name. It could be a call for help. I rushed to where the voice was coming.I made the biggest pace in my entire climbing life.When I reached a wider trail the voice stopped. Then I saw a trail leading down on the left side when the usual trail that we take is on the right side. I ascended this mountain many times and never saw this trail. I shouted the name of the friend.I can identify the voice -it was Efren's voice. I shouted his name again. I heard a reply coming from the trail leading down on my left side. As I recall on our way up, there was no trail on this side..it was a quick down fall drop cliff meaning no one can go down without a rope. The inclination is something very hard to manage without a rope.Now,it looks relatively easy.

I was worried because it was my birthday and they were my guest. I have to take care of them, though, I know they are more than capable to take care of their own being a pure outdoor person. Nevertheless, it was my party and my current status as a middle man makes them my responsibility.

to be continued........

(preview: a voice shouted from the left and right -the same voice,heard from two distant places. It was not an echo.The mountain was calling for me. I heard it called my name.....so much is running in my mind..the thought that the being of deception was present...)

Being of Deception

A birthday is always a good experience. As a person gets older, one find it important to celebrate their natal day in the most unique and memorable activity. For me, in of one my birthdays while in college; a climb in one of the most beautiful mountains was the most memorable. As a mountain climber it was really very personal.

Organizing a party of really close friends of climbers from different schools will require a detailed planning. Well, we made an itinenary that is the shortest and unwritten. ETA at jump off point is at 7am, ETA at peak will be 12 an ETD at 130, be at the campsite at 3pm. The shortest menu for the a 15 man team,lunch sandwhich, 7 whole chickens all fried and Gin to go with it. The pre-climb happened in a bar across the school campus near the most expensive hospital. A week before that we had an official pre-climb meeting which was the shortest also, about 10 minutes but the drinking lasted till 4 midnight. For us,we call it detailed planning we know how much food and liquior to consume for the climb.

We were in full gear,all the provisions were there. Each one paid for their own ticket. Shared the food provisions, each carrying one chicken or one bottle of liquior.

While still in the bus, a thought slided through my brain,about old folks saying -birthdays bring a person prone to danger or some unexplainable event. One should never stray far from the house or danger will happen to the birthday celebrant. They also said Santa Claus is real. I guess, superstition and myths were popular in the old days because cable tv and broadband does not exist yet. The same that tv was not around in the old days that each family is like a basketball team, they have 7 to 13 children. When tv came it dwindled down to an average of 2.

The superstitious thought left my mind while continuing the trip. I am more occupied thinking this birthday will be a trip that will be memorable. All my closest friends were there. Nicest thing about it they are all mountain climbers -legitimate climbers.

I saw from a distance, the mountain shape like a girl lying down. The mountain is near and a cold breeze can be felt now. There was a drizzle, which is common in the month of June in this province . As we approached the State University's agricultural and biochemistry college which is located at the foothills of the mountain. I got more excited. As we get nearer to the jump off point. We felt more excited. Then we reached the jump off point. We disembarked and loaded up. Time for us to do what we best do-Climb.

to be continued......

(preview: a voice shouted from the left and right -the same voice,heard from two distant places. It was not an echo.The mountain was calling for me. I heard it called my name.....so much is running in my mind..the thought that the being of deception was present...)

A small country, A small president

A power is not in the hands of the ruler but in the hands of the follower. If a follower continues to acknowledge that power, it will continue to be a slave to the incompetent leader. Let us say, if we continue to stay quiet and we continue to be filled with fear then the very power that we hate will continue to reign. It is only, by continually being meek in the claws of a tyrant that it will continue to enslave us. If silence will prevail, there will never be a balance of respect for rule. A leader then becomes a tyrant knowing that no one will oppose.


In a democracy, the rulers and the rules are supposed to be insecure. It is suppose to be continually balancing the power of the majority and the minority. The rules are to be dynamically given a shrewd makeover if needed to address present needs. For the rules and rulers are human being prone to make mistake, in order to rectify the error, the basic concept of a democracy is change. Change that is progressive and the essence of truth is present.


Yes, truth and facts are suppose to be present in a democracy. Transparency of the facts and the truth. Unfortunately, in our era the same truth are sometimes hidden and push to be a political truth. A political truth is the make believe facts and given a self-serving interpretation.A manipulated facts instead of letting what actually transpired conclude by itself. Truth is made to have a twisted end or truth becomes a fictional scenario.


In some case, a killing becomes a murder instead of homicide because of the premeditated aspect of the crime. So, in democracy a hidden truth -a political truth sometimes is a premeditated "make believe" truth. It is almost similar to murdering democracy. As such people becomes a victim of murder. Murdered subjects of the state. Oftentimes,the present government will always put blame on the enemies. A convenient way to redemption. Since it is a make believe story telling,even the redemption is also a make believe.Then it becomes so theatrical that the government is now an entertainment.Now this validates why we have so many entertainers and media people in the government.The government is now an everyday opera.


Our state now exist for a few and the privilege. A state that retains the obsolete rule of aristocracy and tyrant rulers.They want to remember the era of the kings and queens for the powers it had once.They want the same absolute power.Power that makes them feels like an infinite head of state.A royalty of sorts.When they should remember that an elected official,like them should serve and not to be served.It is the public interest that should be given that royal treatment. For an elected official is a servant of the people and not a master.


In my country right now, it is sad that political truth is destroying the fiber of our society. We lose the other bad apple only to be replaced by another bad apple. This time learning the mistakes of the deposed bad apple, it dances without direction. It does not comfort good state governance but it comforts the allegiance of corrupt allies. Whatever fits in the agenda of the gang will be sufficient. It may not be efficient but it does the job for the moment. Well, that is good enough for a ridiculous administration. Serving the public for selfish gains. The eye is blind and the ear is deaf.To the warlords and the power broker that managed to acquire some political patronage wager.While the mind of the administration is thinking on how to extend the reign.Also looking in to fall guys when the presidency would slide in to a slippery situation.While guarding potential enemies and the current nemesis.To also "minimize" anyone that comes in to their way. They want more years to rule.To rule further is to receive more or we should say to pocket more.


Our country is small. Our president is small. Yet, our resources are huge and tall. Yet, we keep on faltering and in silence my country is weakened. The spirit of fear rules us. The spirit of despotency is evident in the masses mind. Why? The simple explanation is that; my small country has a small president that does not deliver result but delivers the message of ultimate power. Power that can be seen from a distance. Power that intimidates anyone who opposes her. She hides the apparent truth, replacing it with a propaganda. A campaign which the people can feel as insincere and made for her own convenience.They are pushing some political truth so hard that it bounces back to their face. Sometimes, it was so amateur that the people who have matured politically in to this type of movement of facts can only laugh.To pocket that laughter, the administration subliminally express that they are in power. They make it a point to show that power is in their hand. So,opposition better back off or else.


Time for my small country to have the enormous resources of minds to brave the streets again. The power of the state is not as big as it is manifesting. The power of the people is bigger than the power of state. No power is big, unless the people continue to be a slave to fear. To eradicate fear, will mean a heart able to stand with a noble intention to bring forth the real government for people.

I want that fear to go away. I want someone to go away. I want democracy to be back.

Flowers That Melts IN Your Heart and Not In Your Hand

Every time I watch a movie or a TV program, they always smell the flowers that the characters receive. Funny, how they would smell the rose and say it smells so sweet. Although, some flowers smell sweet, most of the flowers that are popularly given does not have any distinct sweet scent that will linger in to our nostril.

Flowers are really intriguing, imagine it expresses a lot and gives a lot of emotional rush to anyone who receives. Personally, I enjoy giving flowers. Somehow, I have to make a category, on why I am generously sharing it. First for me, it is an expression of how I feel. Second, it is a symbol of gratitude. Thirdly, it is for aesthetic reason.

The most popular way of giving flowers would be three roses or anything in three.I give flowers to someone and if it comes in three. It would only mean one thing; not only " I LOVE YOU", it gives a symbolic message of "huh". What is a "huh"? For example, let us say, that girl is someone I truly adore and really like, for some reason, a reservation is present in my mind. Thinking that, you are deep in my heart yet on top of my mind. Calculating the risk and the repercussion it will make when I pursue this. Even if that girl turns me down, the impact will not be so much that I will commit suicide. It is something like I love you and let us see what happens next, if things work out fine.

A bunch of flowers. They come in half a dozen or a dozen, in bouquet, in pots, in any medium and boxes. This way also, I express that ultimate gratitude for being there all the time. A bunch of flowers is a symbol of being in the fullness of life. So, I can give this to a mother, grandmother or a friend. A bunch of flowers also symbolizes the richness of my emotion, it also meant;" I want to get you as soon as possible". For some people, it is a way of impressing on you that this thing is expensive and he is buying you this stuff because he wants to buy you too. Though, the currency may not be money but a bunch of flowers. They say it is only during courtship though. For me, I will not give this until there is already a commitment, I will give a bunch of flowers because being with that girl completes me and enriching my purpose of existence.

One rose. That one single cheap looking rose is worth more than a dime or a penny. A single rose expresses that singular emotion that this person is truly one of a kind. Not having a second thought or doubt, that you are the one deep in the heart. One that makes a person in the sublime state of being in love. One that inspires and motivates. The love will be shared only with no one else, except to that One person. A fragile care is given to that One person, because there is no one else to care for except that special One. Without lies or conceit, the one stem rose is truly a symbol of a true love in motion. There are no number two or number three, just One. A single rose says that you are the one only. A single rose is a powerful symbol of TRUE LOVE.

Another thing, a flower gives that nice feeling of beauty. When you see flowers in your house or anywhere it gives you that warmth and a lovely ambiance. Especially fresh flowers,it gives that sophisticated and romantic atmosphere.

The giving of flowers is another medium of expression same as any form of art would be. It speaks a thousand words. It talks in different languages. It is a fad that has been running for centuries. Sharing it transcends beyond cultures and boundaries. Every time you receive flowers, it touches your heart more than your hand. As I would say, it melts in your heart and not in your hand.

Sometimes Destiny Is Really Magical

One morning you just woke up without anything in mind. You took a bath,dressed up and walked to the bus station.It is very common to see people tired and impatiently waiting at the bus station.The bus,in our little township was never on time.Luck smiled at me that day.I saw a young lady.She look smart and a fine woman at that.She is tall for a chinese lady.The first time I saw her,I admired her already for her cute face.I do not remember what we talked about.I can recall there was a conversation about something.Then after a while the bus came.The bus was like an invitation for a trip to heaven,we all rushed to get in.I sat behind her. We took the same train going to Kuala Lumpur.When we reached kl sentral,I told myself there goes the pretty lady.On my way home.I saw her again.Still I do not have the courage to talk to her.

The next day,I thought of going to KUALA LUMPUR a little late than the usual.At the bus station,I saw her again.Then that night too I saw her again at the Putrajaya station.

The third time,I have to go to Kuala Lumpur early to meet someone.To my suprise,the tall and pretty lady was there again.I can not help, but to start a conversation.I asked her,about the time of the bus.She responded then I asked her if she is a student.We took the same bus again,we never stopped talking.We took the same train and talked some more.Remembering,that she will go to KLCC to review her notes and go to a seminar on some investment opportunities. This time,I knew there was no way for us to meet again on the way home.

The next day, I saw her again at the bus stop. I now know her name and handphone number.Talked became better and we are now at ease with one another;from then on,we became good friends.She is really nice.As what some people said in her friendster,she is a caring friend...well,she is and I never thought,I will find someone like her.Knowing her is like being a winner.Having someone sincere and honest is better than winning a sweepstakes.She can really win your heart for she is indeed a special angel pretending to be an ordinary beautiful woman.She is unselfish and sensible too.

There is a reason for everything.We just have to find out what destiny have for us. On the occasions that I met her consecutively were unplanned.I am sure all of those were not a mere coincidences.There are thousands of people in our town and not in any of that meetings,happened on the same hour of the day.I can not explain it neither put logic in to it.It was way beyond my finite comprehension.Best that I leave it that way.Mysterious and intriguing but never short of understanding and caring,for our friendship is really full of understanding and caring now.

Only time can tell the purpose of our meeting at the magical bus stop.

The Inner Light

Sometimes we looked at a person we see the face to be full of light. A beauty that is not based on physical looks but something that you feel and transcend beyond the flesh. You can feel calm and peace when this person is around. That is something not every pretty face possess.

Seeing a person like this is not that often specially among adults. When domestic chaos is very common and financial problems seems to be making life even harder. Somehow the person who possess this quality despite the difficulties manage to manifest the light.

An aura that will warm your soul and consciousnes. The feeling of calm and inner peace is felt. The mere presence of the person makes you smile. It is more than having a lover or someone you love right beside you, the feeling is a universal emotion that embraces all the goodness of life.

Reminding me one night, when I was in a difficult moment. I was worrying so much that prayer seems to be the only hope. Grace is what I needed at that time, nothing more will be enough to make me feel with ease. I prayed hard enough and opened the bible saw there the name of an angel Raphael. Out of nowhere I prayed and meditated on the angel's nice story in the old book. Raphael is a healer,so, I asked him to heal what is troubling me show me a sign that God heard my prayer.

I was in bed at that time, having some difficult moment with a lot of things and a fever. When all of a sudden I felt, the left part of my bed was submerged. As if someone was seated. I opened my eyes and saw a very bright light. An illumination that was unexplainable. At that moment I felt a different sense of peace and calm. Something so divine and pure, it was a moment I can not forget. I saw a pure being in light,seated beside me. In a short moment, I thank angel Raphael for visiting me.I knew it was him, for he was holding a small sling bag and a fish. Exactly how the old book describe how he healed and showed compassion to a person. My small room was filled with light.Then I closed my eyes, it was gone. That night I felt peace and assurance that my prayers are heard.
I knew it was not a dream because no imagination or human sense can duplicate that feeling.It was definitely sublime.

Even among people,we sometimes feel the presence of people with an inner light personality. Recently, I visited my home country. I met new friends and one lady was seated from a distance. I knew the minute I entered the room,that there is someone in the room with that personality. Then as I approached her, the light is felt and even without looking straight to her, I knew she was the one. A person's goodness is sometimes felt specially the one with pure intentions and heart. You do not need to be an angel or a saint. Sometimes, a person's aura is felt right at that moment when you are sensitive enough to feel it.

I know it occured to you before that a person seems to have the personality that is so light, it makes you feel at ease and happy when you are around with that person. Not having any emotional relations or having a sexual relations, it is just a pure friendship or sometimes just an ordinary acquiantance. Deep inside you feel the person's aura all throughout the goodness is felt deep in our soul. No need for some extra powers to feel it , as human we can feel it. The divinity of a human soul is something we can all feel. Just what I felt, the feeling is always heaven.


(sibyl)

That Girl I Will Always Like....The Girl...

When I first saw her, she is indeed a pretty lady. I told our common friend that she looks like my ex-girlfriend. In height and body.

As I get to know her,she was some kinda-yo..know ah..you kinda..see like ah...kinda ...talkative and her talk seems to be centered only to a certain personality-Her OWN. I feel this girl does not like me. I can also feel this girl seems to be ignoring me,probably it was just one of those first meeting thing.Nevertheless,live as I would have always. To exist with everyone,regardless of what they think about me,because I never think about them too. So,I just live my life as I would.

I grew up in a very diverse society. My childhood friends are from families you would actually know by just looking at your twenty peso bill or if you cross some streets with street names that happens to be their relative or grandparents. For some of my friends, you do not have to know their last name , but the product you are holding could have been from their factory. As for me, our family is just another story of
failed business families losing a lot in the past.I do not care at all, I never felt that royalty.I was a third generation at that time grand royalty was not a staple activity or a word in the family. We conduct our lives in the most modest way.Among my childhood friends even when we got a little older you will never hear them say a thing about what they have nor what their friends have. All you hear from them was our lives at that moment and what opportunity to tackle. Which a point I adore about my childhood friends.

This cute girl has a lot of strong points. Strong points in a way, that would sometimes be a nuissance or sometimes really cute.As I am a master of difficult situation and personalities, I just have to hold on the fact that this girl has something good.Just like everyone else. Who on this planet does not have negative points. We live in a not so perfect world. Even the girl I will always like got some bad side.

At one point, I knew that this girl was saying something about me while we were in a train. I pretended that was something beyond my linguistic comprehension. I can hear her,loud and clear and ignore what I heard in slang of their own. I felt bad but had to continue,without being affected. I knew sooner I will have my day. That night also, I knew what triggers it. I just smile everytime I remember it. Friends here gave me a new nickname. She keeps on insisting that came from the fact that I was slow, I kept telling her that nickname came from my talent in imitating a cartoon character. Funny, how this girl will argue endlessly.I felt at one point not once or twice this girl looked at me as if I was ignorant and senseless homo sapien.I just continue to ignore her because I carried a scholarship, a masteral units, awards etc.,pardon me on how I sound but I wanted to point that I have more to offer. I do not want to sound this way ...like.....grrrr... To cut it short...As always I understand her because she is the girl I will always like even if we argue and even when she looked at me as someone so small.I still like her.

Not so soon or I just can not remember the day when, I begin to treat this girl like another case study. Well, that is the appropriate term to call it or just a term I used to aptly describe difficult personalities. I treated her with the deepest understanding that she grew up with that notion and attitude that no one on this planet will ever change her. As we get closer, I think the habit of arguing with her seems to be a way to make her realized that I am a friend who wants to be sincere. I guess- sincere is the right word that made me unique compared with her other friends. I am sure at one point she felt that some of her friends seems to be avoiding her or going away from her. Those things happen to people ,we just have to become sensitive to feel it. Comprehend it well and realize what was happening. I can assure her from now on, when she needs me,she will have me at anytime.That girl will have me because I am the person who will always like this girl.

Talk about patience. I have tons of it and millions still in a giant vault. That is why right after we argue, we are okay again.I just have to pull out some of the stored patience in my vault when it becomes so intense. After we argue,I still like her. For the simple reason, I understand who she is-although not completely, somehow what I have been thru and how I dealt with a lot of people in the past prepared me to be a capable person to relate to her. Since,I can relate to her well and the chemistry is already there,I will always like that girl.

Sometimes it is exhausting to be with her or by just listening to her. That is just how she is. Something of a talent and her character. It will be a different person when you do not hear her voice.She makes money out of that ability and makes the company proud of her. It is worth liking this girl you can be proud of her sometimes.

I really do not know when it dawned on me that I will never ever leave this girl and will always be there for her- protect her, be a friend to her and be with her when she needed me. I just do not remember when but up to this writing I am keeping that promise.That girl I will always like ...the girl that means a lot to me.

After our Bangkok trip I heard her say ;"thanks for the patience and understanding". It was my first time to hear those words from her,usually just a simple thank you. That second while I was at their gate and she was at their door looking back at me,I can not believe what I heard.I was suprised. It was a time when all that patience, all that effort, all that caring , all that understanding,all that difficult times,all that love that I extended unselfishly was suddenly paid in that instance.

I knew this girl has the sweet side and this girl is really worth keeping.No one will ever harm her neither she will feel alone . I will be there for her always, even if takes my life. That girl I will always like....The girl that I will protect..That girl I will always understand as much as she understand me now..The girl that I care so much.The girl, who means a lot to me. The girl who loves ice cream.That girl is important to me. I will protect her and will never ever leave her in pain or in trouble.


We can even share the same faith if she wants.I know you will read this, the story is told in the most honest and sincerest manner. I do not want to lie to you anymore. I can not continue saying that I will be there for you if I can not be sincere. This girl will always be in my mind and be thinking how she is at this time. Without asking anything in return, I will be with the Girl I will always like anytime.I would not call her a case study anymore because she does not challenge my patience anymore, I am use to her presence now.Better if I call her my Friend.

Ok, time to argue again hahahaha.Remember, I am here.

pink flower

I always wished for someone like a flower in full bloom to be with
but I found her a bit late.She is so cute. Looking at her is like looking at the most wonderful angel on earth .

Have you seen that little wonderful ,almost perfect, too good to be true,so feel great little dolls on top of the birthday cakes and wedding cakes.Her presence if not most of the time is like that.She makes me feel good.

All the time we spent together; in every minute and second is the only exact and definite reality of happy moments I have here in my new adopted country.That may last only in a few hours and minutes but it was a moment to cherish.I am sure what she is to me,a girl to be my inspiration and a friend. For me, every moment is important and I will remember every second of it.

She inspires me all through out. She is a friend indeed, who never stop caring. A friend who never stop looking at your welfare. A friend who is always true and always a perfect friend.

Some people.....

In this one big planet we are all created equal. Equal in the sense that each have a certain ability to contribute to the planet’s progressive growth. As each creature has this genius unique to himself, a faculty and skills that will create the person’s character and personality.

Admittedly, as one person is not perfect we see differences. Sad to say, even a basic comprehension to letters and literature seems to be distorted by an intellectually challenge person - that interpretation of a particular thought in a message is distorted.Evidence that we are indeed different from one another. This is more obvious in some people who exhibit this lack or limited faculty to comprehend. As a result of this inability, that person does not mature easily to the norms of a normal world. What is wrong maybe right for that person because there is no way for that person to compare right from wrong. We just have to extend pity to this person. According to this person’s unique environment and brain he is right. Sometimes, even if he knew he is wrong deep inside his ego would cheat his mind to express his weird character and an attitude full of conceit.

Then people unleash characters that resemble a prehistoric personality of the mind. When logic is blown to oblivion, this individual becomes unwittingly or wittingly nuissance and barbaric parasites in co-existing with people.Devouring everything that can be consumed and anything that gives opportunity to take advantage of another person to the detriment of another being.They are like vampires, who bleeds others to survive. They are even worse because they also think of themselves as righteous.

They create a different world, a very different world. A confined world; where they see only their need and greatness but never the need of others. They are inconsiderate and because they are inconsiderate they are ungrateful. They do not see the past, what they only see is what they need at the moment. Ungrateful people are neither worth a penny nor a second to spare. Now, they have isolated themselves from people. This is best for them, for a while or in a large part of their diurnal existence they have a phantom of their own world. It may not be a bliss that you may call but a sublimity of their own selfish fantasy.Their own fantasy... America, America, that is all what we hear. Just to give emphasis to the migration they will always squeeze it in between topics.No matter how irrelevant. What a wonderful way to tell people, we are going to America.” We are somebody”. They will utter that whenever we discuss things with them.Pity,they do not know how to live a life and to co-exist.They should have stayed in the mountains where they rightfully belong.I pity America,if they come to inhabit the land of milk and honey.They can spoil the milk.Good thing honey does not spoil.

(a reply I made to one person who think of himself as a mini-god in the office with a wife made of bubbles and fats)

Away

The paradoxes of life is being in a place you least want to be present yet only to find out that it would be something of a grace wrap in that very paradoxes. What I thought before as ironically difficult remains to be difficult yet I remember that I always managed to go beyond that reality and distance my troubles away.

Here in a foreign land and in a culturally different nation, I found some spice not only in food but also in life. I saw a purpose that meant so much to me, a sort of closure that I cannot grasp from where I came from. I became what I really wanted in life. Freed from memory of abhor mockery of existence. When at a time “my own choice” was not a word in the house anymore. It was a struggle to reach out even to my nearest kin for our thoughts and goals to have a covenant on how to outline my very own future.

Ironically, those were also my greatest fears and at the same time my yearning. To be away from my family because all my life I was held up by the neck. They were breathing on my ears what I should have in life, from the girl to the clothes I will wear. The only thing it does not matter to them is how I become financially productive.

I was a great grandson of a Dona (pronounce as donya). A title given to Spanish landlady or the rich and famous. Well, as they say, the second generation keeps the family wealth, the third generation waste it to bankruptcy and the fourth generation suffer the lack of that wealth. Well, I can never miss something I never had. I am from that fourth generation.

Only thing that I know is that I have to exist and get my self a decent life. Hard work and perseverance will get me to where I always wanted to go. Making it my final destination, then I will take a rest. Now being away, gives me a different perspective in life and that is to be someone capable of contributing to the community. Politics is never part of the plan; the plan is to make use of the talent Allah gave me. This way my existence is a living testimony that I was made for a purpose. I want to do that by writing in the most honest and sincerest for people to be entertained and learn something. Going to school is not the only means of education, reading can make the complicated easier and the empty be filled to the fullest. Street smart are better than having someone with a doctorate degree when managing people. Sometimes it is also a matter of common sense and innate goodness that delivers the best part of life.

In my travels and my acquaintances with people from different places equipped me to have a first hand experience with interesting people, places and even gather the most trivial facts. It does not have to be a celebrity to be interesting. All it takes is to be true to reality.

Breathe of Life

A million cells swam and met the egg that created a new creature nine months later.
Keeping the form of the old ruling class of the planet. Taking an ancient composition of flesh and blood. A creature with hands so fragile to hold anything and a sight sensitive to see beyond the bright light. Comes a new individual wanting to squeeze within the space and time loaned to every being temporarily living on this planet


Decades went on and consumed the essence of existence. As time and space, became witness to nurturing life. In every full circle of the man made human cycle of date and time ,we engage ourselves in a celebration of life. A moment which leads to reminisce the cooler side of years, the brighter days of success and the challenging times as a learning experience.

Beyond the youthful time of being the lone communist believing in the Omniscience
. My adolescence period became a stage of learning how to love and fall a part. As an adult believing and achieving was the primary goal of life. Loving which has always been an epitome of existence had given me a sour and sweet share. Life is full of wisdom, which led me to the understand the dynamics of life better. Learned to be with anyone with ease or with tolerance and patience.

They say change is the only thing constant on this planet. I say that age is the only thing on this planet that seems to be growing bigger constantly and making it beyond a mere numerical representation of a human cycle. It is suppose to be an evidence of a nurtured humanity and sensibility.

Three decades later, I try to examine and look not at how much I have monetarily achieved and made a corporate move successful. A step forward, I have not made much dent to the sea of supposedly a replica of the Omnipotent. Making humanity and sensibility a benchmark of how I have made my diurnal existence as an adorned delirium or a festooned of ass-kicking achiever. Poured a serious look at my soul, there is so much pain I have not found a home to keep myself from cold and feeling old. For the only time a man can feel his old age when it cheats itself to the realities and to the emotions bestowed to me by others. I felt sad and thought I have not only violated myself but also those people who were in my past. Then I am old. As long as my life is attached to the ground and my senses can feel the presence of other souls I am not old. If I have achieved something great like say love, promotion or something so significant then the new circle of life should be celebrated always to personally reward itself for the achievement, if not plan again never give up and attain what must be given an attention. No celebration if things screw up.

There was a moment when I was drowned to a wisdom created by inferiority and ridicule my very own sensibility. I made a move to reverberate the human within and make a soul constantly coveting how to improve not only the material wealth but also to woe graces of love, friendship and whatever completes a man.

Again a full circle of my life is closing a gap and add it to three decades of my time.
I can only think of one thing…that is more valuable than anything on planet…GRACE

inspiration

Continuing my previous post on rebounding life story is something I can not continue.I am dealing with something more special. A moment came when I felt someone understand me even from a far and without saying a thing. She can hear me. I can feel how she is feeling, our journey here in our adopted land are intertwined not only by chance but by fate.

It was a moment when all that I cherish were falling in pieces. Nothing seems to lift my spirit. Not even the smile that I make is a laugh out of heart and lungs but of an empty brain,wishing someone and something could be sensitive and real. Real in a sense that what I have at the moment is superficial, I need sincerity from a special persson and to be at ease with someone.

Nothing best describe my feeling everytime I see her other than-inspiration. She seems to know what I am feeling. Deep inside I also know what she is feeling but she continue to shroud it as change is difficult to some people.I know what she is thinking in her mind.First, I would like to discuss what she is to me. For some reason,we sometimes do not have to speak our gestures is enough to express.We are at ease with one another.

I would like to nurture what connects us together. Let it grow ,to bring out the best in us. Not only temporary but also in the most days of our inspiring lives. Deep inside in our quiet form, we carry the potential to be sweeter than the sweetest sugar on this planet when expressing our feelings. On how to make the sweetest part of us get together seems to be a burden left on my part. Trying to devise a scheme that will make our lives closer as than before.If you look at a map,you will see lines,connecting each streets to give direction.I will make that lines that will connect me to her. Shortest distance between two points is a line.I shall create one.I have the fire to reach her heart. I am not going to make that fire get extinguish by intimidation from the previous people who also made it difficult for me to cope because they are more of mongers than human beings.

She is sensitive and the sweetest person I met in my lifetime.Her personality seems to draw people nearer to her beauty and I can feel her uncommon kindness. A future with her will not be difficult.

Tick, tack, tick, tack, is my time running out. Trying to remember the music that I used that made me win hearts of women. That scheme is old ,it is for a common woman. This woman is extra-special and she gathered what I really wanted in a girl. I have to approach her in the most conscious way, finding the key to that scheme is an emotionally technical endeavor. A calculated approach,otherwise losing her will be the most frustating part of my life.

This is not just another woman as an object for a rebound but this is the real thing. Every moment is a calculated risk, wearing a perfect loving heart to show her in my most imperfect me. Love is my strongest weapon that directed me to manifest the uniqueness of my friendship and expression.

All that went into my life is a learning moment and right now is the moment that I will prove what I learned in my lifetime ,the value that I will put in everything that I offer with my emotion.

Complicated in a way, difficult in every second but easy if we are in the same direction. All honesty and all sincerity is present. Nothing is small or big everything is important.

Plant needs water,if you leave it. Someone else will water it for you. The plant you never water will not remember you,but it remembers better the one who gave the water everyday. You may have made a familiarity with the plant but it is not that familiarity that nurtured it , it is the everyday of care that makes it grow and the moment when it is cold and lonely that whoever makes it warm it remembers. It remembers the one who put water more than the one who is far yet loving.

This is the time that makes sinking our heart in a quagmire for many valid reasons. We rationalize. We protect. You see-we protect the situation not the people involve in the situation. It is common denial stage of human beings. Out of pride or out of need,fear of change, fear of learning and out of fear in adjusting again. We are an open target of the dictates of societal ego tripping and psychological bonding.We sometimes stick it out,because of what people will say. Psychological bonding, trapped in our world for fear of losing or hurting some.For fear of making a change and adjusting again.What is love,where you can not find it to be near,where is love when you can not feel it. If it can not make you feel that emotion near or a heartbeat away from you or fill in the gap or give warmth on a coldest night and a bridge you can rely on at times of trouble. What purpose does it serve? The reality is that we can not touch what is far from us, what we really want is someone to be there, a touch that will keep us warm and secure. A touch that will pamper us, a touch that will make two beings becoming one...not in distance but up close and personal. I would say,.....I do not want to discuss further. I told her about it already.

I saw my day brigthen and renewed because of that special woman. She likes pink and red,pink is a color of gentleness and red is color of love. A combination perfect to her personality-she is pretty in pink. Always pretty...

She is my inspiration and I adore her more than I have adored someone. Somehow fate works in the most mysterious way. I remember someone doing some reading on me telling at this moment, I will have someone special. I said who is she, the person replied she is brunette.Hell, I do not know anyone with a brunette hair.The american psychic reader said she wants red.Hmmm...the fortune teller was referring to red color and pink. The second reading with another person said the same thing, without saying anything to them.hayy..this my life at the moment in Malaysia....I am far from home. The good thing about life here is her-I found my inspiration. Thank you whoever made me meet her..I can make my life better. I am inspired to do it because of her. I hope I can be there for her all the time.