Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Day I Felt God

I would have died today and it did not matter anymore I am still breathing though having difficulty to catch a breath. Stress is fast catching up on me partly because my life is taking a paradigm in a few weeks. After so many years, I will be taking a big risk of going back to Philippine work force that oftentimes have push to side former Filipino overseas workers. It still puzzles me and the society why former overseas workers are not given the same respect as the people who are working locally in the Philippines for a long time. The stigma has reached the government that they even have a program called re-integration for overseas workers.

It is difficult to think what will happen to me in a few weeks time when people are depending on me and so much is expected from me. By just thinking of their expectation, I already fear that I might fail them. That is the last thing I want to happen that I fail the people I care for.

What keeps me in proper form of mind is the thought of my child and my wife. They made my life meaningful and with purpose. I felt for the first time, two people loving me without any condition. Even my daughter despite her age, already expresses her undeniably true love to me. Something I can feel with sincerity. For this reason, I am hugging God’s promise that God will never forsake nor leave me especially in my need at the moment.

As an ordained priest of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I also have duties not only to my family or to my church but also to people around me; to do what is morally right. Also to share kindness as well to anyone who needs and generously give what I can in my own ability. Not only in material wealth but also in extending my presence, love and care to a person who may need it with generosity and without doubt. God has given me confidence that in fullness of his grace that I received the Holy Spirit that directs me to what is righteous and guides me to act as God desire me to do.

Before I was just a witness to God’s glory and now I must be an example on how to live God’s teachings. Now I am an example of how to live God’s teaching despite the many temptations around. The purpose is not to show but rather in my subtle and modest way that people see that God is good and has sufficient grace for everyone to enjoy.

One way to manifest God’s presence in my heart is to forgive for it is the same purpose that Jesus suffered in the cross. If I truly follow Jesus in his teachings, I too must forgive and ask for forgiveness to those who offended me and whom I offended.

I know God liberally gives wisdom to all men, but we must ask sincerely and I ask God right now to give me that wisdom and strength to continue for my family and to proclaim his Glory.

I am writing this simple note as a reminder to myself that God is with me and to testify in Jesus name that God is always here with us. This is the evidence of my faith and will continue to be faithful to you my Lord.