Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Being of Deception part 2

As we trek, ancient gigantic trees welcomed us. Fog and cold air collided with our skin to give us a chill. A weather like this was perfect for us. Usually, a cloudy day can save a lot of our energy. If this was a sunny day, the heat will eat all our energy. Not this time, thick cumulus clouds were up and hiding the sunlight which was a perfect weather for the climb. The ambiance makes it more memorable because you can go through the fog. Pretending that this was heaven. Despite the fog the visibility was still ok. The smell was so fresh and natural that it felt so good.

The ambiance also gave that horror book feeling. That behind the trees and the cold weather, hidden under the fog is a monster or an enchanted being. They said this mountain is enchanted,but that thought did not scare us. We have trekked this mountain many times. The feeling of being in a natural beauty free from the blemishes of the city life that made us come back here. We came for this feeling and for this environment. Nothing felt so good, for a birthday party, this was definitely cool.

A familiar tree greeted us on our way to the mountain. Huge tree with a trunk bigger than a car, right next to it was an albino tree trunk. A variety up to this time we never bothered to ask what it is called.

We climb with a smile on our face. As if this activity was giving us a high better than sex or getting drunk. In every stop that we made , a punchline was thrown to hit someone's exhausted body for a smile to drive the exhaustion away.

After an hour,we reached the peak. It was raining so hard. There was some thunder and lightning. Funny thing was that the lightning was below us. Ever heard of the effects in a movie about the sound of electricity , that was what we heard. The lightning-well it was below our small campsite. The campsite is as small as a one car parking. On the side of the mountain is an 80 degree drop down to the next town or next province. You choose which province will be able to take care of you when you fall.Of course, by the time you know that, you could be talking to St Peter already. We saw streaking lights moving down the mountain slope, and the sound of the thunder was not the usual rumbling sound.It does not even resemble any bowling pins thumbling down on a good strike throw. It sounded like real live electricity.Imagine we are wet and on top of the clouds.We were wondering if this will electrocute us.With cold and hot air mass convulsing to create lightning just a few meters from the end of the mountain slope and our trail.

Nevertheless, like a true mountain climber all dangers are carefully examined and considered. In the end, just like what we had done before,ignored the different difficulties ahead. Hunger was an immediate and more dangerous situation at that moment. So,we pulled out our fly sheets and made a makeshift shelter. Underneath, we gathered our provisions for lunch. We ate sandwhich,chicken and rice while soaking under a heavy rain,so were the food that we ate.I lighted an incense and a short prayer was led by one of the members of the team. After that we descended to the nearest campsite to spend the night to consume the gin and rhum.

On our waydown, we had a buddy system. Each climber will have a companion, as part of our safety procedure. Except for a middle man,or some call him sniper who spot the members of the team location and guides them. Since, I was the most senior of the climbers though I am second to the youngest,I became the middle man. Rushing from one side to another side to check on them.

I was confident, no one will get lost there was only one trail to follow.Well,till we get to the next apple stop.That part the trail branches out to different destination. Either it could send you trekking for a week or getting to the dangerous part of the mountain.That stop is the place where we can take five and wait for one another.

On a very tight trail,where you make a wrong move will bring you tumbling down the cliff. I heard someone shouting my name. It could be a call for help. I rushed to where the voice was coming.I made the biggest pace in my entire climbing life.When I reached a wider trail the voice stopped. Then I saw a trail leading down on the left side when the usual trail that we take is on the right side. I ascended this mountain many times and never saw this trail. I shouted the name of the friend.I can identify the voice -it was Efren's voice. I shouted his name again. I heard a reply coming from the trail leading down on my left side. As I recall on our way up, there was no trail on this side..it was a quick down fall drop cliff meaning no one can go down without a rope. The inclination is something very hard to manage without a rope.Now,it looks relatively easy.

I was worried because it was my birthday and they were my guest. I have to take care of them, though, I know they are more than capable to take care of their own being a pure outdoor person. Nevertheless, it was my party and my current status as a middle man makes them my responsibility.

to be continued........

(preview: a voice shouted from the left and right -the same voice,heard from two distant places. It was not an echo.The mountain was calling for me. I heard it called my name.....so much is running in my mind..the thought that the being of deception was present...)

Being of Deception

A birthday is always a good experience. As a person gets older, one find it important to celebrate their natal day in the most unique and memorable activity. For me, in of one my birthdays while in college; a climb in one of the most beautiful mountains was the most memorable. As a mountain climber it was really very personal.

Organizing a party of really close friends of climbers from different schools will require a detailed planning. Well, we made an itinenary that is the shortest and unwritten. ETA at jump off point is at 7am, ETA at peak will be 12 an ETD at 130, be at the campsite at 3pm. The shortest menu for the a 15 man team,lunch sandwhich, 7 whole chickens all fried and Gin to go with it. The pre-climb happened in a bar across the school campus near the most expensive hospital. A week before that we had an official pre-climb meeting which was the shortest also, about 10 minutes but the drinking lasted till 4 midnight. For us,we call it detailed planning we know how much food and liquior to consume for the climb.

We were in full gear,all the provisions were there. Each one paid for their own ticket. Shared the food provisions, each carrying one chicken or one bottle of liquior.

While still in the bus, a thought slided through my brain,about old folks saying -birthdays bring a person prone to danger or some unexplainable event. One should never stray far from the house or danger will happen to the birthday celebrant. They also said Santa Claus is real. I guess, superstition and myths were popular in the old days because cable tv and broadband does not exist yet. The same that tv was not around in the old days that each family is like a basketball team, they have 7 to 13 children. When tv came it dwindled down to an average of 2.

The superstitious thought left my mind while continuing the trip. I am more occupied thinking this birthday will be a trip that will be memorable. All my closest friends were there. Nicest thing about it they are all mountain climbers -legitimate climbers.

I saw from a distance, the mountain shape like a girl lying down. The mountain is near and a cold breeze can be felt now. There was a drizzle, which is common in the month of June in this province . As we approached the State University's agricultural and biochemistry college which is located at the foothills of the mountain. I got more excited. As we get nearer to the jump off point. We felt more excited. Then we reached the jump off point. We disembarked and loaded up. Time for us to do what we best do-Climb.

to be continued......

(preview: a voice shouted from the left and right -the same voice,heard from two distant places. It was not an echo.The mountain was calling for me. I heard it called my name.....so much is running in my mind..the thought that the being of deception was present...)

Saturday, June 04, 2005

A small country, A small president

A power is not in the hands of the ruler but in the hands of the follower. If a follower continues to acknowledge that power, it will continue to be a slave to the incompetent leader. Let us say, if we continue to stay quiet and we continue to be filled with fear then the very power that we hate will continue to reign. It is only, by continually being meek in the claws of a tyrant that it will continue to enslave us. If silence will prevail, there will never be a balance of respect for rule. A leader then becomes a tyrant knowing that no one will oppose.

In a democracy, the rulers and the rules are supposed to be insecure. It is suppose to be continually balancing the power of the majority and the minority. The rules are to be dynamically given a shrewd makeover if needed to address present needs. For the rules and rulers are human being prone to make mistake, in order to rectify the error, the basic concept of a democracy is change. Change that is progressive and the essence of truth is present.

Yes, truth and facts are suppose to be present in a democracy. Transparency of the facts and the truth. Unfortunately, in our era the same truth are sometimes hidden and push to be a political truth. A political truth is the make believe facts and given a self-serving interpretation.A manipulated facts instead of letting what actually transpired conclude by itself. Truth is made to have a twisted end or truth becomes a fictional scenario.

In some case, a killing becomes a murder instead of homicide because of the premeditated aspect of the crime. So, in democracy a hidden truth -a political truth sometimes is a premeditated "make believe" truth. It is almost similar to murdering democracy. As such people becomes a victim of murder. Murdered subjects of the state. Oftentimes,the present government will always put blame on the enemies. A convenient way to redemption. Since it is a make believe story telling,even the redemption is also a make believe.Then it becomes so theatrical that the government is now an entertainment.Now this validates why we have so many entertainers and media people in the government.The government is now an everyday opera.

Our state now exist for a few and the privilege. A state that retains the obsolete rule of aristocracy and tyrant rulers.They want to remember the era of the kings and queens for the powers it had once.They want the same absolute power.Power that makes them feels like an infinite head of state.A royalty of sorts.When they should remember that an elected official,like them should serve and not to be served.It is the public interest that should be given that royal treatment. For an elected official is a servant of the people and not a master.

In my country right now, it is sad that political truth is destroying the fiber of our society. We lose the other bad apple only to be replaced by another bad apple. This time learning the mistakes of the deposed bad apple, it dances without direction. It does not comfort good state governance but it comforts the allegiance of corrupt allies. Whatever fits in the agenda of the gang will be sufficient. It may not be efficient but it does the job for the moment. Well, that is good enough for a ridiculous administration. Serving the public for selfish gains. The eye is blind and the ear is deaf.To the warlords and the power broker that managed to acquire some political patronage wager.While the mind of the administration is thinking on how to extend the reign.Also looking in to fall guys when the presidency would slide in to a slippery situation.While guarding potential enemies and the current nemesis.To also "minimize" anyone that comes in to their way. They want more years to rule.To rule further is to receive more or we should say to pocket more.

Our country is small. Our president is small. Yet, our resources are huge and tall. Yet, we keep on faltering and in silence my country is weakened. The spirit of fear rules us. The spirit of despotency is evident in the masses mind. Why? The simple explanation is that; my small country has a small president that does not deliver result but delivers the message of ultimate power. Power that can be seen from a distance. Power that intimidates anyone who opposes her. She hides the apparent truth, replacing it with a propaganda. A campaign which the people can feel as insincere and made for her own convenience.They are pushing some political truth so hard that it bounces back to their face. Sometimes, it was so amateur that the people who have matured politically in to this type of movement of facts can only laugh.To pocket that laughter, the administration subliminally express that they are in power. They make it a point to show that power is in their hand. So,opposition better back off or else.

Time for my small country to have the enormous resources of minds to brave the streets again. The power of the state is not as big as it is manifesting. The power of the people is bigger than the power of state. No power is big, unless the people continue to be a slave to fear. To eradicate fear, will mean a heart able to stand with a noble intention to bring forth the real government for people.

I want that fear to go away. I want someone to go away. I want democracy to be back.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Flowers That Melts IN Your Heart and Not In Your Hand

Every time I watch a movie or a TV program, they always smell the flowers that the characters receive. Funny, how they would smell the rose and say it smells so sweet. Although, some flowers smell sweet, most of the flowers that are popularly given does not have any distinct sweet scent that will linger in to our nostril.

Flowers are really intriguing, imagine it expresses a lot and gives a lot of emotional rush to anyone who receives. Personally, I enjoy giving flowers. Somehow, I have to make a category, on why I am generously sharing it. First for me, it is an expression of how I feel. Second, it is a symbol of gratitude. Thirdly, it is for aesthetic reason.

The most popular way of giving flowers would be three roses or anything in three.I give flowers to someone and if it comes in three. It would only mean one thing; not only " I LOVE YOU", it gives a symbolic message of "huh". What is a "huh"? For example, let us say, that girl is someone I truly adore and really like, for some reason, a reservation is present in my mind. Thinking that, you are deep in my heart yet on top of my mind. Calculating the risk and the repercussion it will make when I pursue this. Even if that girl turns me down, the impact will not be so much that I will commit suicide. It is something like I love you and let us see what happens next, if things work out fine.

A bunch of flowers. They come in half a dozen or a dozen, in bouquet, in pots, in any medium and boxes. This way also, I express that ultimate gratitude for being there all the time. A bunch of flowers is a symbol of being in the fullness of life. So, I can give this to a mother, grandmother or a friend. A bunch of flowers also symbolizes the richness of my emotion, it also meant;" I want to get you as soon as possible". For some people, it is a way of impressing on you that this thing is expensive and he is buying you this stuff because he wants to buy you too. Though, the currency may not be money but a bunch of flowers. They say it is only during courtship though. For me, I will not give this until there is already a commitment, I will give a bunch of flowers because being with that girl completes me and enriching my purpose of existence.

One rose. That one single cheap looking rose is worth more than a dime or a penny. A single rose expresses that singular emotion that this person is truly one of a kind. Not having a second thought or doubt, that you are the one deep in the heart. One that makes a person in the sublime state of being in love. One that inspires and motivates. The love will be shared only with no one else, except to that One person. A fragile care is given to that One person, because there is no one else to care for except that special One. Without lies or conceit, the one stem rose is truly a symbol of a true love in motion. There are no number two or number three, just One. A single rose says that you are the one only. A single rose is a powerful symbol of TRUE LOVE.

Another thing, a flower gives that nice feeling of beauty. When you see flowers in your house or anywhere it gives you that warmth and a lovely ambiance. Especially fresh flowers,it gives that sophisticated and romantic atmosphere.

The giving of flowers is another medium of expression same as any form of art would be. It speaks a thousand words. It talks in different languages. It is a fad that has been running for centuries. Sharing it transcends beyond cultures and boundaries. Every time you receive flowers, it touches your heart more than your hand. As I would say, it melts in your heart and not in your hand.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Sometimes Destiny Is Really Magical

One morning you just woke up without anything in mind. You took a bath,dressed up and walked to the bus station.It is very common to see people tired and impatiently waiting at the bus station.The bus,in our little township was never on time.Luck smiled at me that day.I saw a young lady.She look smart and a fine woman at that.She is tall for a chinese lady.The first time I saw her,I admired her already for her cute face.I do not remember what we talked about.I can recall there was a conversation about something.Then after a while the bus came.The bus was like an invitation for a trip to heaven,we all rushed to get in.I sat behind her. We took the same train going to Kuala Lumpur.When we reached kl sentral,I told myself there goes the pretty lady.On my way home.I saw her again.Still I do not have the courage to talk to her.

The next day,I thought of going to KUALA LUMPUR a little late than the usual.At the bus station,I saw her again.Then that night too I saw her again at the Putrajaya station.

The third time,I have to go to Kuala Lumpur early to meet someone.To my suprise,the tall and pretty lady was there again.I can not help, but to start a conversation.I asked her,about the time of the bus.She responded then I asked her if she is a student.We took the same bus again,we never stopped talking.We took the same train and talked some more.Remembering,that she will go to KLCC to review her notes and go to a seminar on some investment opportunities. This time,I knew there was no way for us to meet again on the way home.

The next day, I saw her again at the bus stop. I now know her name and handphone number.Talked became better and we are now at ease with one another;from then on,we became good friends.She is really nice.As what some people said in her friendster,she is a caring friend...well,she is and I never thought,I will find someone like her.Knowing her is like being a winner.Having someone sincere and honest is better than winning a sweepstakes.She can really win your heart for she is indeed a special angel pretending to be an ordinary beautiful woman.She is unselfish and sensible too.

There is a reason for everything.We just have to find out what destiny have for us. On the occasions that I met her consecutively were unplanned.I am sure all of those were not a mere coincidences.There are thousands of people in our town and not in any of that meetings,happened on the same hour of the day.I can not explain it neither put logic in to it.It was way beyond my finite comprehension.Best that I leave it that way.Mysterious and intriguing but never short of understanding and caring,for our friendship is really full of understanding and caring now.

Only time can tell the purpose of our meeting at the magical bus stop.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

The Inner Light

Sometimes we looked at a person we see the face to be full of light. A beauty that is not based on physical looks but something that you feel and transcend beyond the flesh. You can feel calm and peace when this person is around. That is something not every pretty face possess.

Seeing a person like this is not that often specially among adults. When domestic chaos is very common and financial problems seems to be making life even harder. Somehow the person who possess this quality despite the difficulties manage to manifest the light.

An aura that will warm your soul and consciousnes. The feeling of calm and inner peace is felt. The mere presence of the person makes you smile. It is more than having a lover or someone you love right beside you, the feeling is a universal emotion that embraces all the goodness of life.

Reminding me one night, when I was in a difficult moment. I was worrying so much that prayer seems to be the only hope. Grace is what I needed at that time, nothing more will be enough to make me feel with ease. I prayed hard enough and opened the bible saw there the name of an angel Raphael. Out of nowhere I prayed and meditated on the angel's nice story in the old book. Raphael is a healer,so, I asked him to heal what is troubling me show me a sign that God heard my prayer.

I was in bed at that time, having some difficult moment with a lot of things and a fever. When all of a sudden I felt, the left part of my bed was submerged. As if someone was seated. I opened my eyes and saw a very bright light. An illumination that was unexplainable. At that moment I felt a different sense of peace and calm. Something so divine and pure, it was a moment I can not forget. I saw a pure being in light,seated beside me. In a short moment, I thank angel Raphael for visiting me.I knew it was him, for he was holding a small sling bag and a fish. Exactly how the old book describe how he healed and showed compassion to a person. My small room was filled with light.Then I closed my eyes, it was gone. That night I felt peace and assurance that my prayers are heard.
I knew it was not a dream because no imagination or human sense can duplicate that feeling.It was definitely sublime.

Even among people,we sometimes feel the presence of people with an inner light personality. Recently, I visited my home country. I met new friends and one lady was seated from a distance. I knew the minute I entered the room,that there is someone in the room with that personality. Then as I approached her, the light is felt and even without looking straight to her, I knew she was the one. A person's goodness is sometimes felt specially the one with pure intentions and heart. You do not need to be an angel or a saint. Sometimes, a person's aura is felt right at that moment when you are sensitive enough to feel it.

I know it occured to you before that a person seems to have the personality that is so light, it makes you feel at ease and happy when you are around with that person. Not having any emotional relations or having a sexual relations, it is just a pure friendship or sometimes just an ordinary acquiantance. Deep inside you feel the person's aura all throughout the goodness is felt deep in our soul. No need for some extra powers to feel it , as human we can feel it. The divinity of a human soul is something we can all feel. Just what I felt, the feeling is always heaven.


That Girl I Will Always Like....The Girl...

When I first saw her, she is indeed a pretty lady. I told our common friend that she looks like my ex-girlfriend. In height and body.

As I get to know her,she was some kinda-yo..know ah..you kinda..see like ah...kinda ...talkative and her talk seems to be centered only to a certain personality-Her OWN. I feel this girl does not like me. I can also feel this girl seems to be ignoring me,probably it was just one of those first meeting thing.Nevertheless,live as I would have always. To exist with everyone,regardless of what they think about me,because I never think about them too. So,I just live my life as I would.

I grew up in a very diverse society. My childhood friends are from families you would actually know by just looking at your twenty peso bill or if you cross some streets with street names that happens to be their relative or grandparents. For some of my friends, you do not have to know their last name , but the product you are holding could have been from their factory. As for me, our family is just another story of
failed business families losing a lot in the past.I do not care at all, I never felt that royalty.I was a third generation at that time grand royalty was not a staple activity or a word in the family. We conduct our lives in the most modest way.Among my childhood friends even when we got a little older you will never hear them say a thing about what they have nor what their friends have. All you hear from them was our lives at that moment and what opportunity to tackle. Which a point I adore about my childhood friends.

This cute girl has a lot of strong points. Strong points in a way, that would sometimes be a nuissance or sometimes really cute.As I am a master of difficult situation and personalities, I just have to hold on the fact that this girl has something good.Just like everyone else. Who on this planet does not have negative points. We live in a not so perfect world. Even the girl I will always like got some bad side.

At one point, I knew that this girl was saying something about me while we were in a train. I pretended that was something beyond my linguistic comprehension. I can hear her,loud and clear and ignore what I heard in slang of their own. I felt bad but had to continue,without being affected. I knew sooner I will have my day. That night also, I knew what triggers it. I just smile everytime I remember it. Friends here gave me a new nickname. She keeps on insisting that came from the fact that I was slow, I kept telling her that nickname came from my talent in imitating a cartoon character. Funny, how this girl will argue endlessly.I felt at one point not once or twice this girl looked at me as if I was ignorant and senseless homo sapien.I just continue to ignore her because I carried a scholarship, a masteral units, awards etc.,pardon me on how I sound but I wanted to point that I have more to offer. I do not want to sound this way ...like.....grrrr... To cut it short...As always I understand her because she is the girl I will always like even if we argue and even when she looked at me as someone so small.I still like her.

Not so soon or I just can not remember the day when, I begin to treat this girl like another case study. Well, that is the appropriate term to call it or just a term I used to aptly describe difficult personalities. I treated her with the deepest understanding that she grew up with that notion and attitude that no one on this planet will ever change her. As we get closer, I think the habit of arguing with her seems to be a way to make her realized that I am a friend who wants to be sincere. I guess- sincere is the right word that made me unique compared with her other friends. I am sure at one point she felt that some of her friends seems to be avoiding her or going away from her. Those things happen to people ,we just have to become sensitive to feel it. Comprehend it well and realize what was happening. I can assure her from now on, when she needs me,she will have me at anytime.That girl will have me because I am the person who will always like this girl.

Talk about patience. I have tons of it and millions still in a giant vault. That is why right after we argue, we are okay again.I just have to pull out some of the stored patience in my vault when it becomes so intense. After we argue,I still like her. For the simple reason, I understand who she is-although not completely, somehow what I have been thru and how I dealt with a lot of people in the past prepared me to be a capable person to relate to her. Since,I can relate to her well and the chemistry is already there,I will always like that girl.

Sometimes it is exhausting to be with her or by just listening to her. That is just how she is. Something of a talent and her character. It will be a different person when you do not hear her voice.She makes money out of that ability and makes the company proud of her. It is worth liking this girl you can be proud of her sometimes.

I really do not know when it dawned on me that I will never ever leave this girl and will always be there for her- protect her, be a friend to her and be with her when she needed me. I just do not remember when but up to this writing I am keeping that promise.That girl I will always like ...the girl that means a lot to me.

After our Bangkok trip I heard her say ;"thanks for the patience and understanding". It was my first time to hear those words from her,usually just a simple thank you. That second while I was at their gate and she was at their door looking back at me,I can not believe what I heard.I was suprised. It was a time when all that patience, all that effort, all that caring , all that understanding,all that difficult times,all that love that I extended unselfishly was suddenly paid in that instance.

I knew this girl has the sweet side and this girl is really worth keeping.No one will ever harm her neither she will feel alone . I will be there for her always, even if takes my life. That girl I will always like....The girl that I will protect..That girl I will always understand as much as she understand me now..The girl that I care so much.The girl, who means a lot to me. The girl who loves ice cream.That girl is important to me. I will protect her and will never ever leave her in pain or in trouble.

We can even share the same faith if she wants.I know you will read this, the story is told in the most honest and sincerest manner. I do not want to lie to you anymore. I can not continue saying that I will be there for you if I can not be sincere. This girl will always be in my mind and be thinking how she is at this time. Without asking anything in return, I will be with the Girl I will always like anytime.I would not call her a case study anymore because she does not challenge my patience anymore, I am use to her presence now.Better if I call her my Friend.

Ok, time to argue again hahahaha.Remember, I am here.